Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Boys will be boys and girls will be... boys

While both my boys are all boy, they are also polar opposites on many a thing, but poop and toots bond them and this whole family tightly together. Like the other night, my 3rd grader nephew was over and asking his Uncle Julius to quiz him on division. Julius asked him a few math problems before I could hold it in no longer when I busted out with, "What is poop divided by pee?" Julius stopped dead in his tracks and very sternly said "Carey. Carey. Carey." For a slight second I thought my immature division problem may have gotten me in trouble, but then he said "Those exact words were literally coming out of my mouth next! I wanted to say them earlier but thought you'd think I was immature if I didn't say real division problems first!" I'd like to say that kind of talk is rare around here but I would be telling a bold face lie.

 If you've ever watched Parenthood, our boys are Adam and Crosby Braverman. Our oldest one being an uptight rule follower and our middle child being a free spirited rule breaker. Jet even dances like a white dad in his mid 40's. Jet has told me on many occasions that he is not a fan of tattoos and absolutely does not want to ever have any. Benny on the other hand is already planning the design for his tat when he turns 18, in 13 years. I am hoping he picks something totally original like maybe a heart with "Mom" in the middle, or perhaps Tweety bird on his right butt cheek. Yep, that would make me proud. So, I picked Jet up from school yesterday. Driving home he told me he received a bookmark for his 7th birthday which was over Christmas break, he was getting recognition from his class now that school was back in session. When it's someones birthday in his class and the parent brings in some type of sugary toxic snack for the class to enjoy, the kid goes to the front of the class and gets the happy birthday song sung to them. The teacher then pretends to give them however many whacks on the rear as the age they are turning. She stops an inch or so away from actually hitting the child. I witnessed it once, it was pretty cute and funny. I asked Jet if he wanted me to bring in cupcakes or donuts this week so he could get the birthday song and spanks. He kindly, respectfully and honestly replied back, "No, not this year. I'll wait until next. I'm afraid I might toot." His brother was sitting next to him and responded so excitedly "Jet! At the exact same time as you said 'toot', I did an air toot!" Known to the rest of the world as SBD.

My 2 year old daughter says "Eeeeeewwww" whenever she hears a toot, real or fake. It's good to have a little girl around who knows what is couth and uncouth. Perhaps she can teach the rest of us. Anywhosies, we are having sausage and lentil soup for dinner tonight, it's going to be a musical night in the Milani home.

Thank heaven for little girls!

PS. Italy stories coming soon...

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