It's a blog eat blog world

Question if I may, what does this picture depict to you? Now hold that thought, I will come back to it.

Had I not seen that Modern Family a couple of months ago, this blog entry would have been titled "It's a Bloggy blog world". Thanks to Gloria's mistake, I now know the correct phrase. But what does this mean anyway? I don't know. It's the only title I could come up with for this post, which is going to be about my small frustration with the blogger and social networking world.

To quote the title of one of the best written books, "Everyone Poops" by Taro Gomi, basically sums up what point I would like to get across. We are all people. Not one person is more special than the other. God made us all, He loves us all the same and we are all just as equally important.

My problem with these blog things or FB is that I feel as though when telling stories or posting pics, it is a lot of times for us to say, "look at my really great life". Well let's look at the facts, we are all living in the same broken, sinful and fallen world and things are not, and I repeat not, perfect for anyone. If I do read about something or look at fun pics, it doesn't phase me because I  know things are not always as they seem. Having said that, I know people, especially girls, compare themselves to one another in general.  FB pics or what they read in blogs may make it worse and have them thinking "Well shucks, Buffy's life is way more exciting than mine, she gets to travel to far away places." Or perhaps "Wow, Marcy sure is looking good these days. I wish I had the money and creativity to buy and cook all clean, vegan and organic. Maybe I would look that good." Once again, the bottom line is, we are all just living beings and we are all just as special as the next. Do not let a blog or some pics or dumb status updates have you thinking differently. During a very difficult time in my life about a year and a half ago, I remember a good friend of mine telling me that someone she works with told her that she was jealous of me because she had seen my FB pics and thought I had the "perfect life." I was pissed at that because in true life, I was miserable.

The Tofts came over for a fondue dinner Saturday night. A joke comment was made about how we could take pictures of us fonduing it up and write a blog about it and we would look really "cool." You would see smiles and wine and delicious food and friends having a chummy time. What you wouldn't see is the reality. Me, the host, pissed off, stressed and yelling at my husband for asking one million annoying questions. The husbands having to run to Lowe's to buy the correct fuel because right before we were supposed to eat I realized we had none. A fussy 3 month old who didn't know if he wanted to sleep or eat. Two 2 yr. olds getting into the dirt of the palm tree in the living room and spewing it on the floor, then doing it again after being told no. Being a little grossed out because the meat looked lavender after it was cooked. Snapping at Jet over nothing and then feeling guilty. The flame continuously going out. And the grand finale of the table catching on fire. So this is just an example of how pictures can be deceiving. Don't get me wrong, twas a lovely evening with good friends, but not perfect, because nothing is.

So let me please explain these pictures to help with my point, which maybe nobody cares about.

                                       I was 12 weeks pregnant with Benjamin.
                                       I did not want to be pregnant. I wanted to have gotten "better" first.
                                       I was averaging 2-3 hrs of sleep at night.
                                       I was constantly dealing with anxiety and panic.
                                       I thought I was fat.
                                       I was in a constant fog and could not think rationally.
                                       I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up.

Is that what you thought when I first asked the question? Thought so.
Or maybe you just thought, "What a vain girl. Who does she think she is putting up a pic of herself in a bikini for the world to see?"

 Honestly though I wish I looked like that now and could enjoy my physique. I don't. Tonight after I made a healthy dinner consisting of broccoli, salmon and salad, the 4 of us piled in the car to go to McDonald's to get a shake and fries. We then went straight across the street to get another shake from Cook Out to do a taste test. McDonald's definitely won.

And of course, you already know what song I am leaving you with. "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."