Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Life of Pi

I write on this rainy, gloomy Wednesday morning by my lonesome sitting staring out the window in Dilworth coffee. My husband has taken off work solely to tend to the children and give me a break. How sweet is he?(I just reminded myself of the Barefoot Contessa as she all too often says, "How easy is that?", "How good does that look?". If you are not an Ina viewer that's ok, but I encourage you to make a dish or two of hers. She has yet to let me down. But please remember, never use the amount of salt she dictates. It will leave your fingers swollen and may give you a minor stroke) But let's be honest, he had an extra day that he would lose if he didn't take off before the New Year. But let's really be honest, he is sweet, for he could be spending this day doing some kind of masculine activity by his lonesome.

Nothing really on the agenda today except I want to appease my husband. He has been getting on my case lately about not having kept records of the boys "milestones" and events and such. I thought all the pics and videos would suffice.(And P.S. I learned the hard way 3 years ago  the word "suffice" after reading it aloud to bystanders pronouncing it "suffis") But apparently those do not suffice. Benjamin started saying "Jet" the other day. Julius asked when Jet's first word was. I said, "How the beep would I know?" He says "You are the woman, you should know these things." Then I punched him in the face. Ok I'm fibbing, I didn't really answer the question that disrespectfully. But he has asked me several times since then, so we have agreed to put a journal on our blue armoire and document more from now on. But we haven't done that yet and so I write it in a public forum sharing things that probably should be kept to chuckle at in the privacy of our own home. I share my children's innocence here. So in your face Julius.

Jet is approaching 3 the end of this month. Benjamin will be 1 the day after Christmas, or Chrimus as I like to say. (If you want a laugh, have Julius sing you "Oh Chrimus Tree" in his ghetto uneducated lazy voice) Here are their present lives. Boys will be boys.

The oldest child likes discussing body parts. I was cleaning the kitchen last week when I heard Jet say out of nowhere to his father, "Daddy, is your penis large?(pause) Or humongous?"

He is into the whole "kiss it better" phase, but(pun inteneded) sometimes does not get his way, like in these recent instances:
-Yesterday morning he said, "Daddy my butt hurts, kiss it."
-He was standing naked while I was getting him dressed and he pointed less than 1 inch away from his penis and said, "Ow this hurts. Kiss it Mommy"
-He stated his  upper right molar hurt, and then opened his mouth wide for me to kiss the back of his mouth.

The boys have been bathing quite a lot recently especially after naps and before dinner because it's the only place I can keep them confined and occupied without destroying the house. Benjamin has the biggest, meatiest yet muscular tush I have ever seen. He fell out of the bath last week. He disobeyed and stood up after I told him countless times not to. He leaned over the side and face planted out of the tub. His rump and legs in the air caught on the tub. Had he broken his teeth this would not have been as humorous as it was. Lessons learned and they don't come cheap.

Every morning when Jet arises from bed he sits on my lap and our dialouge is as follows:
Me:You is
Jet: kind
Me: You is
Jet: smart
Me: You is
Jet: important
Just a little something I made up. Ok shut up, just read or watch 'The Help' if you haven't. But it warms my heart because he says it is a "Semi- Southern Drawl". I have also taught him how to talk in a thick Southern accent, he is so talented.

Benjamin has a thing for older women. He tends to have the hots for all of Jet's friend girls. Jet and Elle had a sleepover for an advent activity. Benj wanted to be wherever the little lady was. He also has a thing for Jet's friend Ivie.

I thought it was a good idea to take Jet to a Christmas concert at church for a mother and son outing. He tends to do great one on one. My mother, Jan, was singing in the choir along with hundreds of others. Every few minutes he would declare loudly, "Where's Nona?" Then he started standing in the pews. Then he started dancing in the aisles. Then he started pissing off the people trying to enjoy the music. Then he started saying loudly, "I gotta go pee pee, I gotta go pee pee!"  Needless to say we got the beep outta there after about 45 minutes. This is a situation that I would have witnessed and wanted to drag the kid out and teach him a lesson. Being the parent I acted angry but was really laughing histerically inside. Mainly because of the way I had him dressed, and how else would I expect my 2 year old to act at his bed time and having not taken a nap that day?
The only reason Jet was laughing was due to some comment dealing with farting and butts made by his male parental who was taking the picture.

We often find the camera with images snapped that we did not take. Last week we found about 40 images snapped. Although Jet had the camera in his hands, I didn't realize he knew how to turn it on and take pictures. Just a few I found, probably only funny to me.

Anywhosies, I should wrap this up and go get some final stocking stuffers for my boys. My closing statements are these, I really want to urge you to have yourself a Merry little Chrimus. Please don't forget the birth of our Savior. And also something I have been thinking recently after seeing a live nativty the other night. I am sure it was heck of a lot less glamorous then we think it to be. For anyone who has had a baby, you probably aren't just standing all pain free and fresh after having just birthed a babe. Mary's lady parts had just been throught the ringer and most likely she had cracked and bleeding nipples from a suckling babe, who was perfect so probably latched on no problem. Let's hear it for our girl!

I don't know what song I am signing off  with today. I will choose whatever song comes on next on Pandora.
Ok I kid you not, Bob Dylan and "A Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall".  How perfect is that for today's weather condition?(Ina)

"Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, where have you been, my darling young one?
I’ve stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains
I’ve walked and I’ve crawled on six crooked highways
I’ve stepped in the middle of seven sad forests
I’ve been out in front of a dozen dead oceans
I’ve been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard
And it’s a hard, and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall..."