Friday, November 11, 2011


This date, in our home, not only means we will be remembering the Veterans that served our country well, but also it is to us, an Italian, salt and pepper haired, hottie, turning 29. Salt caused by yours truly. "Alright already woman! Enough with the birthday tributes!" Well I hear ya, but I just had to give a shout out to my faithful, loyal and patient as crap, husband, Julius Silvio Milani, born November 11, 1982 in Eugene, OR.

Ja'Rulius is his street name, and sistas, can he flow. I often remember the time we were driving back from Camp Pendleton to San Clemente and I had to ride smashed against the door in the back seat because the surf board was taking up the whole car. We had music on with no lyrics. He flowed non stop for the 25 minute drive home. No stuttering, no hesitation. It was dark and all I could see was the back of his head, and for those 25 minutes, I was riding in the back seat of a brotha's car, and I was proud. We often rap together present day riding in the car as a family. I can't compete with his skills and most times when I'm at a loss for lyrics, I revert back to the flow my  mafia sister Dawny and I wrote together in S. Fl. when we were 14, while smoking cigars and drinking O'douls.

Before Julius and I started dating, we were great friends who had a ridiculous and hysterical time together. Because we are both 50% Italian, we used to have a plan called "OPERATION RELATION".  We were going to trace back our heritages and find a link that made us somehow related. When we started dating, the plan came to a halt.
We want a lot of children, and Lord willing, I will give Julius the basketball team he desires. He is an amazing father who is constantly wrestling and fighting the boys and throwing them around. Benjamin's new name for everyday is presently Karate Benjamin. When the 3 of them are not getting out aggression, they are hiding under forts and searching for dinosaurs. Outside they catch bugs and pick things up that if I came in contact with, I would freak the freak out. While I taught Jet to stomp and smash any bug he sees, Julius has done a good job reversing this habit, and now Jet only smashes bugs with my permission. While I have a shorter fuse for tolerating whining and crap, especially by the early evening, I rest assured knowing that the little boys will be in good hands because "Daddy" will be done working soon and they will have a man and a fresh set of hands to hang with, who will show them nothing but love and patience. The other night when eating dinner, Jet was only wearing a shirt and socks and was moving from chair to chair at the table. His tush went in Julius' pasta bowl. His bare butt was then covered in a bolognese sauce and grated Parmesan. Had it been my plate,  my hand would have been covered in sauce and cheese from a nice swat to the behind. But Julius was unaffected and just moved his plate calmly to the side and dealt with it appropriately. He doesn't put up with crap either, he just is more slow to anger than this B-ya.When I tell Jet I love him, his response is, "I love Daddy." 

He has a past of bringing home living things. When we first got married, we got an ant farm and a fish tank. Then we moved to Cali. In the beginning he had to work one Saturday a month in San Diego. I take it he had time for Craigslist because every time he worked that Saturday, he would come home with a new living something, without my consent. Iguana, Chinchilla, Zebra Finches, Iguana, Kitten, oh and another Iguana. Shoot me. Nothing stayed long. We also got a puppy almost 2 years ago off Craigs list. One he really wanted. I agreed to getting it but was firm in my word when I said I was not taking care of it. Less than 24hrs. after bringing it home, it was back on Craigs. (Don't worry animal lovers and activists, he went to a good home).
I don't even know where to begin on telling you about his skills in building things. Chicken coupe, mirror, island top, end tables, piano bench, trellises, stairs and the list goes on. I mention we need something. He says he can build it. He prints out a 15% off coupon. He goes to Lowe's. Spends a few nights out in his workshop, and then bam, he presents it. I scream and sometimes pass out from being blown away. He just built a beautiful stone fire pit and benches out back. Talk about being impressed. I often catch him staring out the window into the yard, proud of his work, a little too proud.
He also is an exceptional painter and many of his artwork is on display on our walls.

I love this man because of his love for gardening and crop production. Sometimes I call him Adam from the garden of Eden. Actually I've never done that. While I appreciate flowers, my true fondness is for fruits, vegetables and herbs. What is better than having fresh, organic, home grown goodness? Since we bought this house a year and a half ago, he has planted 3 apple trees, a fig tree, a pear tree, a peach tree, a mulberry tree, a cherry tree, a pomegranate tree, kiwi, blueberry and raspberry bushes and I know I am forgetting something.  Because of my love for cooking, nothing is better than going out to the herb garden and grabbing a handful of free, fresh herbs to accompany the meal. Summer is a time of vegetables. I am presently waiting for the lettuce and other greens to make an appearance for the winter crop.

In the past, I have enjoyed when we've watched the Notebook together because his love for me is kicked up a notch for the next few days. What also does it is, "Return to Me." We watched that the other day and we are obsessed with each other presently. We keep saying things like, "Please never die". And just the other day he said, "I want to punch your freaking face in so hard right now". Ah love.

When Jet was younger and barely talking, when he would get angry or frustrated he would scream , "JULIUS!" not knowing it was his father's name. He knew it to be a word, that he learned from his mother, to yell when you were angry or frustrated. Bless my husband's heart.
He and a couple of his BFF's have "band practice" on Monday nights out in the workshop. And how creative, they call their "band", "The Workshop." Fortunately it is far away from the house where I don't have to hear the jam session. Occasionally though, I go out there and listen from outside and dance under the stars by myself holding up my lighter. I am the groupie. It makes me laugh and smile to hear them having so much fun playing music and singing. I love his loyalty to his friends. They are like brothers to him and he would do anything for them. He also has a "surf club" with those guys, and they call it JAD (Julius, Andrew, Daniel). Once again, I am so impressed by it's originality. They made T-shirts displaying "JAD".
The newest member of JAD. 

Speaking of music, Ja'Rul does a mean Ray Charles impression. While on piano, he plays the same Ray and Elton songs over and over and over again. He also plays some banjo, mandolin and whips out his harmonica sometimes while playing guitar. We have many a time recorded music together. This typically ends in a fight because I can't stay serious long enough and always end up breaking out in opera-like singing and therefore ruining the recording.
                                                       Karate praising the Lord.
Many things that start off as jokes with us, become our reality. Examples: From the start of our marriage, 6 1/2 years ago, we used to mock couples who would always call each other "babe" after any statement they said to each other. But not just a regular sounding "babe", a fast and peppy way of saying it,  like "beb". The mock became a regular part of our lingo, and for years now we constantly call each other "beb", not even in a jokingly manner. Another joke turned reality is "Boom Boom". Anytime we would see a black, loaded, tinted window, big SUV, like an Escalade, Tahoe, Suburban type, we would always say "Booom Boooom" and do a type of bounce with our bodies. We would do this because this is the bass you would expect to hear coming from the car with some form of rap/R&B playing. Well this also became reality. Julius sold his car that he loved and had the fondest of college memories in, and as of a month and a half ago, I now am the proud owner of a Boom Boom.  After we bought the big, black, loaded, tinted window Suburban, we drove home separately from the dealership. Julius got home before me. When I pulled onto our street, I put on Power 98, turned up the bass on the Bose and creeped down the street so he could hear me coming. This is now my warning I'm almost home so he could  come out and help unload the groceries.
                                 Our final pictures with "Montey" before he went on to a better home.

And just to stop myself for a minute, I just read this over. Please forgive me for talking about myself, as this is supposed to be about my lover. This is his salute and I am a selfish creep and can't keep myself out of this. Moving on.

This man pursues the Lord daily. He keeps Christ the head of our home. He gets his confidence from his Savior. I love watching him evolve more and more into a man of God. He prays with us, and for us. I pray my boys will turn out just like him. I thank God for giving me a man able to put up with me and all my junk. For sticking with me through my times of depression and insanity and never loving me any less. His love for this family is unconditional, and for that, we are BLESSED!

  Julius has Psoriasis. I have Vitiligo. We are a match made on earth.

Happy Birthday Beb! I love you muy muy mucho! Meet me in the bedroom in 5! Raar!
I'm kidding. That was to make any bystanders uncomfortable.

The song I leave with today is one of great meaning to us both. A few months back, we heard the music to "Oh Danny Boy" in church. On the drive home, we sang in opera the song from the Saved by the Bell episode where AC Sladers chameleon, Artie, dies and Jessie Spano sings at his funeral. She sings this song, with the "Oh Danny Boy" tune. Thank you and Enjoy.

 "Oh Artie boy
 the bugs, the bugs are buzzing
               There's gnats and ants, mosquito's and the fly
And they'll be bugs for breakfast, lunch and dinner
In that great chameleon banquet in the sky."