Saturday, June 25, 2011

Daily Report

 Other than some cantaloupe martini that my spouse thought it would be funny to let Benjamin taste (yes, I ripped him a new one), my Benjamin has only had milk. But this week I thought I'd let him try some new tastes. I started off with an avocado and breast milk mix for a few days and then moved on to a broccoli and breast milk mixture.
I wish my forehead had the tautness of a 6 month old baby.

Tonight I could not get away from the smell of poop. After checking diapers multiple times, and asking Julius if he knew where the odor was coming from,  I realized  the staunchy stench was coming from Benjamin's neck rolls and cheeks. I guess as a negligent parent who doesn't wipe down her kids after they eat, I should expect nothing less than to find broccoli residue hidden in the chunk.

 Just before I put him down, he, like his mother does, got the giggles right before his bed time. He was laughing so hard right in my face. If I closed my eyes, I would have thought I had a 48 year old large Italian man in my face. His breath was pure garlic. As an Italian woman, I make everything with olive oil and garlic thrown in, even the baby's food. What kept me laughing, was that the breath did not match the tiny body I was holding.

Sorry Mom for what I'm about to say, but I have to share how innocent my firstborn is. Earlier today, Jet was laying on his back on the floor in our sunroom. I walked in, and stuck my gluteus maximus out and pretended to flatulate in his face. He got the biggest smile on his face and said, "Oh thank you Mommy!"

Jet's daily sunroom activity. Just like puppies, little boys are bad unless they exert energy. I encourage him to jump off everything in the house. The more dangerous, the better.

Julius always makes me laugh, but tonight over cheeseburgers, what got me chuckling was when he said, "You know how at Chica-fil-a, they always say 'My Pleasure' after everything? Well I am going to make a restaurant where instead of saying that, the staff has to say, 'You Betcha!' after everything." We then sat over the course of dinner coming up with different phrases that we would make the staff use for each day. Customers would come in just to see what phrase was in use.

So what is the point of this entry you might be asking. Nothing. I am just sitting on the couch waiting for Julius to come in from building something in the workshop so we can watch a Criminal Minds. Dr. Spencer Reid is my favorite. Sometimes Julius talks and sounds like him, not on purpose. I always say that he looks like a grown up nerd version of Jet. Thank you for your time.

"I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God almighty which way do I steer for my
Cheeseburger in Paradise"

Oh Jimmy B! You never disappoint!

Monday, June 13, 2011


June 11, 2011 meant for my hubs and I, 6 years of marriage down, 2 little boys to show for it, and a stupid, in a good way, time.

Early in the day we made up a very long song driving in the car where we took turns roasting each other about some times we've spent married;  the hard times and annoying habits. I was crying I was laughing so hard. The chorus was so catchy, Jet was singing it after we got home. If a famous singer were to have written and preformed this song, I would say it sounded like it could have been a Lionel Richie 80's hit.

My In-laws came over at night to babysit while Julius and I went out for Sushi. After we were sat we asked to move tables because we were near a table with children, and when I am away from my kids, I sure as heck don't want to be near anyone elses either. Dinner was nummy nums. My wine got me thinking.

Whenever I am pregnant, all I have is this incredible urge to push, I mean to drink. All I talk about is, "When I am done being knocked up, I am going to drink like a fish!" Let's be honest, after I had Jet until the time I got pregnant with Benjamino, I had one glass of wine. Anniversary night that was going to change.

After we got home, said good-bye to the grandparents, checked on the little ones, we made a decision as a married couple, to get our drink on. JaRulius picked some mint outside for me and I threw it in the simple syrup I was brewing on the stove, then poured it over some ice, vodka and lime juice. It was no mojito but it would do. Julius made his own special drinks. We sat in our front room by the big window, watching it rain and lightning and having the best conversation. I mean deep and philosophical and spiritual, the kind that only alcohol can induce. Julius was talking about something close to his heart and then all of a sudden, mid sentence, he couldn't talk anymore and started tearing up. Uhhhh.... I just sat there not used to seeing him cry. Then all of a sudden, mid tear, he stopped and was like,"I'm not even sad, that reaction was 90%  from the alcohol."  Then we started to laugh. Then we started to take shots. Then things turned goofy. The night went on. As we sat in bed drinking straight from the bottle of Captain Morgans(you might be a redneck), I remember Julius kept saying, "This is the funnest anniversary so far!" And I kept saying, "We need to do this once a month!"

After the festivities were over and Julius was sleeping, I thought it would be a good idea to start a blog about my past PPD. This is all I got:

"klet me break ir down, it is 11:42 PM on June 11th. TodaY Is my 6 year anniversary, and i am drubnk. i probably won't get much written but I need to start somehingI have been putting off. have i wanted to write this? freaking no to the way! I hate reliving this but I would say I have gone thru this in vain if i dont write about it and let antyone else know the thingsi went thru and perhaps heklp another suster anolng the wqay. off tyhe subjecct, tonight wAS A a fun night. lots of sushi and some alcohol back at the hoouse and some suga. now my 3 boys ee passed out and i need to use this drink awake tie to be oprocuctive. I just read tghis ad laifhged, my hNDS are a little numg making it hrad to type. should i erase this and starty over? i'll decidee thqt when i prick this up."

It's funny how when you drink, time slows when you're having fun. Anyway, it's probably a good thing I stopped my writing there. Bottom line is, it was a fun night.  I woke up to an empty bottle of rum at the foot of the bed, dehydrated with a headache. My first thought was, "I am never drinking again". My second thought was, "I need a McGriddle. I need a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit.  I need a hash brown.  I need a scalding hot coffee, stat". I grabbed one of my kids, left the other with their father, and headed straight to the McDonald's drive thru.

Back at the breakfast table, Julius and I just looked at each other thinking, "What did we do last night?"

So what's the moral of the story? I guess it's that it's ok to do something out of the ordinary every once in a while, esp. in a controlled enviroment. Next time I drink like that will probably be at our 20 year anniversary party. It wiped me out for the whole day and I have no desire to do that again anytime soon. Second moral of the story, be responsible. Baby # 3 on the way? Time will tell, but I shall call her Annie, in honor of our anniversary. TMI. Good Bye.
"He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the better times"

Oh Chumbawamba, thank you for your 1997 annoying hit.